We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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