he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
We named our party play list daddy issues
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
