Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
