So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
pray to the hookup gods
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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