i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
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He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
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Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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