It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
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at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Houston, we have a squirter
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
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Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?