hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
there was a trapeze. enough said
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill