I'm pants shitting drunk right now
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
