i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
