Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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