Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize