I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
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Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
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From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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