i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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