You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
