flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
