a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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