You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
