Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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