I'm going to jail i love you
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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