halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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