I can't watch pbs sober anymore
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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