cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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