And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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