apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
