Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Even my vagina gasped.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Randomize
