my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
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Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
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When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
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