I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
33 Sex Crazed People That Are Going Balls Deep
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
21 Family Members Confess The Creepiest Things They Know About a Relative
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.