Texts From Last Night

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  (+44): View more from England

  Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.

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  (+44): Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock. http://tfl.nu/vs51
  Replies (110) Good night (1197) Bad night (13664)
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  (626): View more from California

  My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".

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  (626): My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today". http://tfl.nu/jga5
  Replies (35) Good night (3666) Bad night (1990)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?

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  (540): Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them? http://tfl.nu/3pc1
  Replies (16) Good night (1343) Bad night (4619)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm

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  (702): Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm http://tfl.nu/d1by
  Replies (1) Good night (2126) Bad night (741)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight

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  (757): Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight http://tfl.nu/0tps
  Replies (25) Good night (1679) Bad night (5827)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.

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  (304): There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house. http://tfl.nu/pzrc
  Replies (8) Good night (1619) Bad night (1503)
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky

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  (514): its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky http://tfl.nu/m4rl
  Replies (3) Good night (862) Bad night (787)
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  (213): View more from California

  Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  ... and if i was..

  (213): View more from California

  Fuck. You.

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  (213): Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten. (201): ... and if i was.. (213): Fuck. You. http://tfl.nu/ty6i
  Replies (5) Good night (1794) Bad night (526)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing

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  (403): the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing http://tfl.nu/cpea
  Replies (9) Good night (1479) Bad night (366)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?

  (416): View more from Toronto

  Formal letter or email.

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  (647): How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks? (416): Formal letter or email. http://tfl.nu/qlv5
  Replies (4) Good night (1305) Bad night (461)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.

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  (413): He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex. http://tfl.nu/az8i
  Replies (1) Good night (377) Bad night (677)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?

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  (803): Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick? http://tfl.nu/r3gk
  Replies (4) Good night (1506) Bad night (362)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are

  (815): View more from Illinois

  Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa

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  (815): yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are (815): Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa http://tfl.nu/l4r8
  Replies (2) Good night (750) Bad night (333)
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  (646): View more from New York

  He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...

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  (646): He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand... http://tfl.nu/h56p
  Replies (8) Good night (302) Bad night (743)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.

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  (214): She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE. http://tfl.nu/ol6h
  Replies (2) Good night (619) Bad night (242)

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