Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.