Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(206): View more from Washington

Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha

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(860): View more from Connecticut

I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?

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(727): View more from Florida

I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.

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(630): View more from Illinois

Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.

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(937): View more from Ohio

I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.

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(+61): View more from Australia

did i walk over a car last night?

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(615): View more from Tennessee

Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.

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(856): View more from New Jersey

I need to wash the frat house off of me

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(419): View more from Ohio

Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?

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