Texts From Last Night

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  (949): View more from California

  I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.

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  (949): I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me. http://tfl.nu/kgtm
  Replies (19) Good night (672) Bad night (2289)
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  (416): View more from Ontario

  The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.

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  (416): The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look. http://tfl.nu/2p75
  Replies (13) Good night (800) Bad night (3416)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.

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  (704): Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway. http://tfl.nu/y0w4
  Replies (9) Good night (3673) Bad night (647)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen

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  (919): I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen http://tfl.nu/2b2i
  Replies (472) Good night (4188) Bad night (6607)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.

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  (814): We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad. http://tfl.nu/0kg4
  Replies (82) Good night (30717) Bad night (2475)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.

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  (203): I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday. http://tfl.nu/3knu
  Replies (12) Good night (1333) Bad night (4063)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up

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  (217): What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up http://tfl.nu/ae7w
  Replies (43) Good night (1092) Bad night (6322)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.

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  (330): If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor. http://tfl.nu/a98x
  Replies (8) Good night (3934) Bad night (1637)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico

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  (313): hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico http://tfl.nu/p58l
  Replies (28) Good night (3571) Bad night (1025)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.

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  (203): Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk. http://tfl.nu/6oqy
  Replies (4) Good night (2693) Bad night (728)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.

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  (973): Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality. http://tfl.nu/dmqi
  Replies (9) Good night (2120) Bad night (1023)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.

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  (314): That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu. http://tfl.nu/ssef
  Replies (7) Good night (754) Bad night (496)
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".

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  (309): Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail". http://tfl.nu/i687
  Replies (9) Good night (1021) Bad night (386)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight

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  (717): But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight http://tfl.nu/x4t9
  Replies (2) Good night (683) Bad night (240)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.

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  (425): When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately. http://tfl.nu/qs87
  Replies (1) Good night (595) Bad night (151)

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