No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
20 People Confess What It’s Really Like To Live Under Sharia Law
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
21 Texts That Prove All the Magic Happens in Parking Lots
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
