There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
