i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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