cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
