even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Why did my mother make you get naked?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
