Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
