Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
