Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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