I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
