Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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