I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Randomize
