All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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