i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize