your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
