hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
