mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize