I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
The dick lei will go down in squad history
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
