I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
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I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
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You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
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