I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
