Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
