sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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