so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize