he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
