A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
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