i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
