Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
