just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
