Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
